Posts Tagged ‘ Being Rad To Each Other ’

Saying No

Today I discovered that College Times removed one of my articles. Unsurprisingly, it was not the one which is [at the time of writing] still topping their ‘most shared’ bar. It wasn’t the silly one I wrote about scissoring, or the informative one I wrote about strap ons.

 

It was the one about consent.

 

Frankly, I think this choice is telling. Faced with a huge response from my blog post exposing the company as a place which supports sexism, they responded by removing any reference to women being allowed to refuse sex from their website.

 

I wasn’t planning on removing anything from College Times, because I wanted the articles I did write to reach the audience I wrote them for, regardless of the issues I have with College Times’ staff. However, I can’t let these people continue to profit from my work any longer, not if ‘consent’ is not a message they can get behind.

 

As regards the other articles which College Times have not yet removed- If any LGBT Society, website or even blogger would like to print them, you are more than welcome. You can email me at dolanchap@gmail.com and I will provide you with everything I have, to do with as you wish. The reason I would prefer to give them to a society blog is because that way, they will still be reaching young LGBT people, which is the audience I aimed them at. I have asked College Times to remove them as soon as possible.

 

Anyway, here is ‘Saying No’:

 

 

 

Alright, kids, today we are gonna discuss Serious Business. That is the business of consent. Now, I’m not talking about rape, rape is a separate issue and if you are looking for some advice about that, I suggest calling the Crisis Hotline. I’m not qualified to help you out there.

 

What I am talking about is being pressured into doing something that you are either not into, or just plain not comfortable with. This happens all the time, you guys, and it’s A Shame. Right now, people all over the world are engaging in sex acts that they kind of would rather not have anything to do with, and they are doing it to make their partner’s happy.

 

Imma drop a truthbomb on you all right now- if you are with someone who is not respecting your boundaries, you need to not be with that person anymore. Not respecting your boundaries is the same as not respecting you as a person, and what kind of relationship is that?

 

A True Story: I once dated a girl who was very much into the bumlove. At the time, I was young and relatively inexperienced, and I just wasn’t sure I really wanted anything inside my butt. So I told her that, and she said it was cool, but then kept going for it whenever we were having a naked party. So one day I let her, and I had the Worst Time ever. We ended up having a giant fight the next day, I started thinking about the sex we were having as a favour I was doing her, like a thing I was performing so she would still like me, and eventually we broke up. I was immediately much happier.

 

Does this mean I do not like anal sex? FUCK NO. Imma talk about the charms and beauty of going up the wrong’un at some stage, and we will all be Enlightened. No, the moral of that story is that I was having a bad sex life because I was trying to please my partner at the expense of my own orgasm. I wasn’t ready for that yet, but I did it for her, and it was a fucking HUGE mistake. Don’t be like me, guys. Don’t live in regret.

 

Now, obviously, everyone has different boundaries, and they change and grow over time. Sex is all about trust, and things you would never do the first time you bone a girl will turn into Standard Repertoire if you stay together long enough, such is the way of relationships. But just because you’re with someone who is a step ahead of you does NOT mean you should start jogging. Fucking take your time, enjoy the scenery! Half the fun is exploration, and exploration is way better when you do it together.

 

Because here’s the deal, you guys- if you are not enjoying the sex you are having then you gotta really think about why you are having sex, you know? If it’s not to make a baby, or to have a good time with someone you love/ like/ just met but they are cute as heck, then why are you bothering? You are a grown ass woman, and being a grown- up means you get to make the rules. So do yourself a favour and make some that result in multiple orgasms, instead of just plain relief.

 

And similarly, if you are into hardcore BDSM, and the newest lady in your life is into fingerbanging with her underpants still on, then be a good person and don’t make her feel bad about that. Not everyone you sleep with is going to have the same sexual history as you, and that’s OK. Try to remember how it felt to not be sure what you were into yet. The excitement of going to bed with somebody and being wicked nervous about it, because you were worried you were gonna do it wrong or backwards or something. And when you are imagining that, think about this- you have the opportunity to blow somebody’s mind. Do you wanna waste that by making them do what you wanna do straight away, or do you wanna continuously do it, every night, for ages, until they are in the same place as you? Because chances are, they will get there, and even if they don’t, you might learn something new, too. Every day is a chance to learn a little bit more about how your genitals like to be touched, and rushing that will definitely lead to skipping a few Cool Moves. Respect each other, and I can 100% guarantee that your sex life will be hella better. And if it’s better, it’ll happen more often, and who says no to more sex?

 

The message is simple- don’t be a dickhead all of your life. Be rad to each other, you’ll be happier in the long run.

 

HAIR We Go Again

PUNS. I will never get over them.

 

This week, everyone is talking about body hair. Well, probably not everyone. I’m pretty sure my grandmother isn’t. But I bet if she knew what And Internet looked like she would be, because this place has just exploded with articles about that shit. I dunno why it is suddenly topical, I guess because it’s warmer and thus approaching that special time of year when you have to commit to a Summer Look, and for bazillions of girls everywhere that means pastel colours and hairless everywheres.

So I thought ‘Hey, I have a blog thing, maybe people wanna know how I feel about hair on ladies’. And then I thought ‘Of course they don’t, people only read your blog because they are searching for Amanda Brunker tit shots, it’s right there in your search terms. But it’s your blog, Fuck That Shit, do it anyway. It’s not like you get paid.’

And then I realised that if I was paid for writing this blog I would be the most deadbeat employee ever and y’all would have fired me by now.

Sorry mom, sorry god.

 

ANYWAY- we were talking about hairy bitches. Now, full disclosure, I do shave my legs and underarms, BUT I have a good reason for that, promise.

The reason is that I do not grow body hair very well. I grow body hair like teenage boys grow moustaches, patchily, over the course of several months, and the end result is still wicked unimpressive. I would legitimately love to wake up some day and have finally left puberty, with body hair all over the place that I could pointedly not shave and be proud of in the streets wearing shorts, that is The Dream. But alas, the reality is that if I don’t shave my legs, all that would happen would be that, after about a year, strangers would think I had some kind of mange or something. It is a genuine source of sadness in my life, almost as bad as my inability to grow even an unimpressive moustache.

But I love body hair on other ladies! for one thing, if you are a hairy lady, and are showing it off in public, guuuurl, Imma be checking you out all day long. You got confidence coming out the ass. If I see a lady in the street with a hairy armpit, I know she is not giving a single fuck. And to me, that pretty much means I wanna bone her. She knows what’s up [and yes I am talking about my metaphorical erection here].

BUT I know that avoiding sex with me is not the only reason ladies shave themselves. That’s probably only half the story. The other half is my girlfriend. She is totally into shaving, even though she knows I am all for her to be Wild and Free and Without Razor Burn. She’s like ‘That’s great for you and all, but this is how I like my body so this is how Imma keep it, Sound? Sound’ [I am totally paraphrasing A Lot here]. And you know what, that’s hella rad too, because she’s presenting [LOL] herself the way she wants to, and is not giving a single fuck about what I think. And that makes me wanna bone her, because confident ladies, amiright? I’m totally right.

 

Thus, here is the gist of All My Feels on the subject of body hair: If you are shaving your legs, and are thinking ‘Geez, this is awkward, and arduous, and fuck I just sliced my knee off AGAIN how embarrassing’, then don’t do it. It’s really stupid to do something you don’t wanna do just because everyone else is. People out there who are completely hairless because Sexy TV Ladies are completely hairless should try remember that Sexy TV Ladies are only hairless because Porn Ladies are hairless, and Porn Ladies are only hairless so you can properly see their ladyparts on camera, and basing any of your lifestyle on what a porn director wants to see is probably a really terrible call in life. BUT people who are completely hairless because it makes them feel good and they like it and they think it’s properly sexy should go ahead and do whatever the fuck they want.

I do reckon everyone should try being hairy at least once. There was a lady on TV this week who was all ‘check it, I didn’t know how it felt to have my own hair until I was 26’, and that’s a bit fucked, isn’t it? Like, I dunno, if you had a garden you wouldn’t get rid of the lawn unless you’d seen what it looked like first, would you? That’d just be stupid. This analogy is wicked literal.

Ultimately, it’s all about how sexy you feel. The truth is, if you are seconds from boning someone, they are not gonna change their mind because you have hair. Nobody has ever done that in the history of ever, and if they do, who the fuck wants to bone somebody who gets all the way to the naked part and then flakes over something stupid like landscaping? Nobody, that’s who. That guy was definitely not a catch.

Basically, it’s all about what makes you feel rad, as a dude or a girl or a whatever the hell you want. Hair is rad, and so is none, we are living in a diverse world, you guys. Be the raddest you you can be, and your bodyfuzz will never be an  issue, swears.

Plus, there’s  a ninety percent chance Imma wanna bone you anyway